Why does a Red Rose
by trumpet1
Summary: Lily Evans is starting Seventh year with her best friends!  With the war raging outside of school, friend betrayal, falling in love, family, trying to fit in, homework piling higher than ever, what will her last year be like?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

"Goodbye, Lily," said her father, Casey Evans.

"Bye!" squeaked her mother, Delia, giving her a huge and loving hug. "We'll miss you lots! See you at Christmas!"

"Glad you're leaving, freak," Petunia sneered.

Lily just smiled. "Love you, mom, dad!" she shouted, running on to the train.

She was greeted by, "LILY!"

Her four best friends, Alice, Marlene, Jenny, and Carolyn, engulfed her in a huge group hug.

"I missed you so much!" Lily told them, grinning.

"We missed you more!" Alice replied. "Imagine us, all of us able to get together because we're pureblooded and live in the same area, and you live all the way across London in the muggle area! We should've gotten together!"

Lily laughed, out of pure delight and joy of seeing her friends. "It's been too long. Come on, let's get a compartment before they're all filled up."

"I can't believe it's our seventh year!" squealed Marlene.

"And I'm head girl!" Lily added.

"That, I can believe," Marlene replied, but gave her friend a hug nonetheless.

Lily sat down, her friends talking excitedly. She looked out the window thoughtfully.

All of her friends were completely different. How they managed to be the best friends of all time, was uncomprehending. Alice was...just Alice. She was 5'2", short and petite, sweet, cute. Alice had short, choppy black hair and brown eyes. She wasn't shy, and wasn't the girl to be messed with. Until it came to Frank, her crush. She got so nervous and shy when he was around!

Marlene was tall and thin, 5'9", with waist length wavy blonde hair and sky blue eyes. She was the been-there-done-that with everything girl. As far as boys went, she'd done everything. She was bright, bold, and careless. She could seem a little cold and indifferent, but she loves her friends to the end.

Carolyn was the absolutely boy crazy girl. She wasn't the one that had done everything with boys, but she just saw a cute guy and fell in love with him immediately. She was 5'7", curvy, mid back length, curly caramel colored hair and stunning brown eyes. She was smart and quick witted, on the Quidditch team as a chaser.

Jenny wasn't tall or short. She was 5'5", thin enough but not super skinny. She had thick, dark brown hair and alluring green eyes. She was kind of quiet, but she was really smart, sweet, and smiley. She had a crush on Sirius, but she was scared to like him because he was well known as a player. Jenny was also on the Quidditch team, playing as a keeper.

And then, there was Lily. Lily was somewhat more like Jenny. She was 5'6 1/2", super intelligent, the goody-two shoes of the group most definitely. When something was wrong, she spoke out. That was the difference between her and Jenny-Jenny was always too quiet and shy to speak out against everyone. She did so in more subtle ways. Lily was thin. She had bright red, shoulder length hair that was thick, but not straight nor curly. Her eyes were a bright emerald green.

Lily vaguely heard the door open, but she kept looking out at the passing scenery silently. Someone sat next to her, and she turned to see James Potter.

"J-James," she stuttered.

"I'm sorry," he apologized for no apparent reason. "I heard you are the Head Girl, and I figured you should be in the meeting."

"Are you...Head Boy?" she asked, trying desperately to hide her shock.

James shook his head. "Remus is. He told me to come get you."

"Oh...right." Lily felt very uncomfortable. She had no idea why, James used to be very confident and arrogant. This meek person seemed nothing like the James she knew. "Um, thanks." She jumped up and rushed out.

Jenny looked at James cautiously. "Um, James...is everything alright?"

James smiled a little. "Heh, yeah, of course."

"Why are you so quiet?" demanded Carolyn.

He shrugged. "I'm tired?" he suggested.

"I didn't know you got quiet when you were tired," said Marlene. "I thought you'd be more like Sirius-hyper."

He yawned a little. "Oh. Do you...did Lily..."

"Mention you?" Alice smiled, understandingly. "She was pretty deep in thought, but she didn't say anything."

He looked a little downcast. "Oh. Just to let you know, Jenny, Sirius asked a lot of questions about you."

Jenny flushed, hiding her face to hide a small smile. "Why-why does that matter?"

James laughed, the old light returning to his eyes. "I think you know."

"Ahh, there's my best mate and my favorite girls!" came a young man's voice. Sirius walked in, black hair, blue eyes and all. Remus and Peter followed, sitting next to Marlene.

Jenny smiled shyly. "Hi, Sirius."

"Heh, hi, Jen." He smiled too, sitting down next to her. "Um, how was your summer?"

"Oh, um, it was good."

"Remus, where is Lily?" asked James.

Remus laughed. "You have a one-track mind, Prongs."

"And you didn't answer the question."

"I'm here!" Lily announced, jumping through the door. She looked at everyone, who all were looking at her with fathomable eyes. "Um, you were talking about me, right?"

It caused everyone to laugh, and Lily relaxed, smiling a little before sitting next to James.

"Yeah," Remus said. "We were."

James quietly put his arm around Lily. She looked at him silently, leaning against his shoulder. Tears started to come to her eyes.

"Lily, is everything okay?" Alice asked tentatively, noticing her tears.

"I'm sorry," she squeaked through sobs that shook her chest. She turned and buried her head in James's chest.

James looked shocked, glancing at his buddies for help. "Lily, are you okay?" he mumbled against her hair.

Lily put her arms around his waist and held on to him tightly. "I'm sorry," she whispered again.

Peter and Carolyn shifted uncomfortably. Neither were very comfortable with crying people.

She took a couple of deep breaths, and began speaking. "It's just...my sister."

They waited patiently for her to continue. James stroked her hair gently, waiting for her to calm down.

"The thing...with You-Know-Who...is coming closer to my muggle home. I don't want her to get hurt. I've been doing everything to help her stay safe...and she still hates me," stuttered Lily. She paused in silence for a moment, and then started crying in to James's shirt again.

"You're so sweet and caring," said James. "I can't believe you still love your sister."

Lily hiccuped and laughed a little. "You think?"

"Yeah, I think you're really great," James attempted.

Lily smiled sadly. "Thanks."

"We understand, Lily," said Jenny. "I wish we could help...the You-Know-Who thing is getting really bad. Have you been able to read the Daily Prophet over the summer?"

"No," Lily replied.

"Oh, I have one!" said Marlene, pulling it out of her bag. "Herego, I think it's from July the 21st."

Lily skimmed over it quietly, stunned by the number of deaths. "I...I..."

"Lily," James said, smoothing her hair. "It's okay."

After a long silence, Lily leaned against James and closed her eyes, and fell asleep.

Alice smiled. "That girl, she worries too much."

"You never know...what could happen," Sirius said, his eyes dark.

Remus nodded sleepily. Peter, Carolyn, and Marlene had fallen asleep.

James yawned. "Remus, Sirius, I think," he began.

"That she likes you?" finished Alice. "Come on, we've known that for quite a while. Since the end of last year."

"Look, James," Remus said. "Don't be fooled. She's just going through a hard time. She might decide you're just okay once it's over. Don't be disappointed if she just wants to be friends."

James nodded, looking discouraged.

"I think she does like you," Jenny said, yawning sleepily.

James fell asleep. Remus fell asleep. Alice fell asleep. Only Jenny and Sirius were left, Jenny blinking to stay awake and Sirius staring quietly at James and Lily.

"Are you tired?" Sirius asked finally. He nodded at James and Lily. "You can do that too."

Jenny blushed a little. "Really?"

"Sure." He put his arm around her waist. She leaned in to him and fell asleep immediately.

This was going to be one interesting year. Lily was having difficulty, Jenny found herself falling in love with Sirius, Marlene found herself in love with Remus who shyly mutually shared the love, Alice had a crush on Frank Longbottom. James was trying to decide what was best for him and what was best for Lily. Sirius was changing from heart-breaking playboy to gentle-hearted lover boy. As was said, an interesting last year. This was only the beginning, too.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

"Luvthsbood," mumbled Sirius through a mouthful of food.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Sirius," admonished Jenny gently.

Sirius smiled a goofy grin at her. "Anything for you, Jen."

Jenny blushed. Lily rolled her eyes. James snorted, Peter laughed, and Remus just stared at his plate sadly.

"You guys seem more tired than usual," said Lily. "How was your night?"

"Good," yawned Carolyn. "I haven't woke up this early in ages."

"I forgot how good this food was," mumbled Sirius through a mouthful of food. He swallowed his food and said, "Sorry, Jen."

She put her hands up easily and shook her head. "Forget I even mentioned not talking with your mouth full. You'll never listen, Sirius."

Sirius smiled at her warmly. "This food is almost better than your mom's, James."

"Almost?" James said, smiling.

"What'd you think of the Heads' commons and bedroom?" Alice asked.

Lily smiled energetically. "It was so cool!" she said excitedly. "Remember when I showed you the prefects bathrooms? The heads' were even better! I've got to get you guys all together in the commons sometime for fun!"

"And remember, Lily, we're Heads', so rule obeying, correct?" asked Remus.

"Um," Lily began.

Alice giggled. "With us? Not likely." She froze suddenly, staring at something with her wide brown eyes shining with excitement. "Lily, look. It's him!" She jumped from her chair and stumbled past people and chairs and tables to get to the one and only, Frank Longbottom.

Jenny smiled in Alice's direction. "Oh, she missed him."

"Of course she did!" Marlene exclaimed. "Look at them-hugging and cuddling as if there's no tomorrow."

Carolyn shook her head. "I can't believe her. I swear she's going to bloody marry the guy the second we leave."

Lily sighed, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Ooh," Marlene cooed. "I bet you're wishing to marry the special guy the second we leave Hogwarts too!"

Lily turned as red as her hair. "Oh, heh, no not really."

"Who do you want to marry, Lilypad?" teased Sirius.

Lily stuttered, "Nobody."

Sirius laughed. "I'm sure. I bet he's tall, handsome, charming-"

"A perfect definition of me!" said James happily.

Sirius frowned. "Oh. Well, I was thinking that defined me a bit better than you."

James glared and elbowed Sirius, causing the group to laugh. "So how would you describe me?"

"Quiet, meek, dull-" He earned another elbow in the ribs. "Ow, Prongs! You're going to break my ribs!" He sent Lily a sly smile. "I bet Lils can give you the best description."

"Oh, heh," Lily stood up and grabbed her bag. "I'm heading to class. Anyone ready?"

Sirius shouted, "You changed the subject! You like him!"

"Shut up, Sirius," Remus said.

Lily flushed, walking away.

James elbowed him again. "You scared her away!"

"I'm good at that," Sirius grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Seriously guys-"

"I know my name's Sirius, I know, Remus-"

"Let's get to class." Remus and Marlene walked next to each other silently.

Sirius, smiling, pushed in Jenny's chair for her and offered her a hand. Jenny, blushing at the special treatment, took his hand. Grinning ridiculously, Sirius swung their hands back and forth as they skipped to the first day of Transfiguration.

Carolyn and Alice walked to Astronomy, Sirius, Jenny, Marlene, Remus, and James to Transfiguration. Lily was already there.

James stood at the chair next to Lily's. "Um, can I sit here?"

Lily nodded. "Of course."

Everything was pretty normal. Just about every teacher assigned homework the first day! The first day passed slowly, but the next couple days were fast. All in all, a good week.

The first Saturday, weekend, of Hogwarts was good. James, being the Quidditch captain, decided to start Quidditch try outs and practices.

James swirled around on his broom. "This is what it looks like so far: Chaser one, Carolyn. Chaser two, John. Chaser three, Sirius. Keeper, Jenny. Beater one, Angus. Beater two, open for today's tryouts. Seeker, I."

"Why am I third?" grumbled Sirius. "I think I should be number one!"

James rolled his eyes at Sirius. "I was just numbering them. It really didn't matter, the numbers."

The tryouts were rather interesting. There were several people who tried out, one first year, three second years, and one third year. Jenny and Lily talked to each other most of the time.

"So, the boys have really changed, haven't they?" Lily murmured. "They are actually caught up with homework!"

"Ha, ha," Jenny said sarcastically.

"No really," Lily said. "They have changed quite a bit."

Jenny nodded slowly. "That they have. I'm guessing you noticed the changes of one of them mostly." She followed Lily's gaze to a tall young man.

6' 3", dark messy brown hair, extraordinary blue eyes, powerful, smart, and sweet. That was how Lily now saw James Potter.

"Is it that obvious?" Lily asked, looking back at her friend.

"Yeah, I think it is." Jenny paused. "I don't think he notices though. I talked to Sirius-"

"Talked to Sirius?" Lily snorted. "Are you sure it was flirted?"

Jenny smiled. "No, I'm not sure. Anyway, he said that James still likes you but doesn't want to torment you. He decided 'not to force you to like him'."

"Ah. And now he won't ask me out at all, and I'm not going to ask him, so...Ugh. This is awful."

Jenny laughed. "I could tell Sirius to ask-"

"Are you and Sirius...?"

Looking a little troubled, Jenny shook her head glumly. "He talks to me all the time. He hasn't asked me out yet."

Lily patted Jenny's shoulder. "Aw, poor Jenny."

"JEN!" shouted a voice.

Lily and Jenny both looked up to the only person who ever called Jenny 'Jen'. He flew around on his broom, motioning her to come up.

"Coming, Sirius!" she shouted, grabbing her broom. "Sorry, Lily. Quidditch."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

Lily was the only person left in the stands after the Quidditch practice ended, surprising enough. The sun was shining on a pretty Saturday afternoon. She had her head bowed over a newspaper.

"Hi, Lily." James Potter sat down next to her. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all," she replied. She looked awkwardly at the paper, and then back at him.

"Um...did you see the Quidditch tryouts? Marlene's cousin, Amos, made it."

"Oh!" Lily said. "The egotistical one! The only first year."

James laughed. "Is that how you categorize people? Egotistical or not?"

Lily shrugged, blushing a little. "Um...no. He is though."

"Yes, yes. He is," agreed Potter.

There was a short silence. Lily broke it eventually, saying, "You've changed over the summer, James. Since when did we go to first name basis?"

"Since I called you Lily and you called me James instead of 'arrogant toe-rag'," James replied, his face void from expression.

Lily laughed awkwardly. "Yeah...about that..." she looked at him, catching his eyes. For some reason, she was stunned by them. She had never been stunned by his perfect blue eyes before. They were just so...perfect. And beautiful. "Um...about that...I'm really sorry. You're not that way anymore."

"I used to be, though, and if you judge me for being that way, it's okay."

"No, it's not," Lily said quietly. "It wouldn't be fair."

A smile crept across James's face. "You've changed too, Lily."

"Heh," Lily laughed a little nervously. "In a good way or a bad way?"

"A good way. Definitely a good way."

She blushed. "You changed in a good way too."

James took a deep breath and turned towards her. "Lily, I-"

"James!" someone shouted. "James!"

Sirius, Remus, and Peter rushed up to him.

"Oh, hi, guys," James said, smiling at them.

"Um, were you going to tell me something important?" Lily asked.

James frowned a little. "It can wait. Are you leaving?"

"Yeah. See you later?"

"Sure." What he wanted to say so badly, as he watched her walk away-she was so perfect and beautiful-he wanted to tell her how he felt about her.

"James, James, James!" shouted Sirius. "I did it! I did it!"

"What'd he do?" James asked Remus.

Peter squeaked, "He asked her out."

Remus nodded. "He asked Jenny Marlie out."

"No kidding!" James said, grinning. "You asked her out? I'm guessing the answer was..."

"YES!" shouted Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James in unison.

James laughed. "Congrats, mate! When is the first Hogsmeade weekend?"

"Next weekend," Sirius replied promptly.

"Where're you taking her?" James asked.

Sirius blushed a deep crimson, and Remus laughed. "You won't believe it. He's taking her shopping and then to Honeydukes!" Remus snorted.

"NO KIDDING!" shouted James. "WOW! You must be really serious about her-ha ha, get it? Serious!"

Remus rolled his eyes, laughing nonetheless. "Those get so old, James."

"Yeah, but he's never taken a girl to Honeydukes, he always took them to the Three Broomsticks!" James said gleefully.

"Let's go eat," Sirius said. "I'm starving."

"So, I saw you talking to Lily," Remus said. "What were you talking about?"

James frowned a little. "I don't really know. It was...different. She's been really stressed out lately."

"You still LOVE her," Sirius said, grinning.

He sighed, nodding.

Sirius laughed, and Remus elbowed him. "Ouch! If you guys don't stop elbowing me, I'll have permanent rib damage!" he cried, rubbing his chest and wincing.

"Somehow, that is where you always get hit, Padfoot," James said, grinning. "Like that one time in Quidditch, in third year. Remember? You were playing as a Beater, and you were trying to make sure I didn't get hit, and you fell off your broom and the Bludger-"

"Shush, Prongs, we know," Sirius said, flushing.

They eventually made it to the Great Hall to eat.

"I love food," mumbled Sirius. "We should have a party tonight. Raid the kitchens! Invite the girls! Get some firewhiskey."

"Sirius," Remus said warningly.

"Oh comeon, Moony!" whined James. "You won't let us have any fun!"

"Lily won't like it," Remus said instantly.

James frowned, leaning back in his chair. "She won't, will she?"

"Oh come on, Prongs!" whined Sirius. "You've got to be kidding me! A party! A back to school party! With girls!"

"Sirius, you've got a girlfriend," Peter admonished.

"Okay, then we can invite her too. I promise you we can have a lot of fun with Jen and us Marauders and Lily's group." Sirius sighed, looking at the doors. "She's so beautiful. Did you see the way she looked at me earlier?" He jumped up suddenly, knocking over his juice and making his chair fall backwards. "Look, there she is!" He rushed up to Jenny.

"He's almost getting to be like Frank is with Alice," Remus said, grinning. "And they've been dating for what? Two hours?"

James snickered.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you, James, considering the way you are with Lily," Carolyn said easily, sitting next to Peter.

"And Remus with Marlene?" asked James.

Remus blushed. "Marlene doesn't like me."

"But you like her!" Carolyn laughed. "Oh, she'll love to hear that. She thinks you're something special, Remus, she really does."

"What's your girls problems?" snapped Remus. "All you girls ever want to talk about is us and boys and it doesn't really matter!"

"Ignore him," James advised. "He's just upset 'cause he's too shy to ask Carolyn on a date."

Sirius walked over, his arm linked with Jenny's. "Come on, let's eat."

"Well, I'm done. You two enjoy yourselves," James said. "I'll go prepare for tonight's party, Sirius."

"Ooh! YAY!" shouted Sirius, jumping up and down like an excited puppy.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

"Prongs, I got it!" Sirius shouted, his voice muffled. "Remus, what's the password? Let me in!"

Remus laughed. "Fairy lights!"

"That's too common," muttered Sirius, carrying his boxes in. "Here, Prongsie. Hi, girls."

There was a rush of talk, the only couple girls in the room trying to say hi at once.

"Where's Jenny?" asked Sirius.

Alice giggled. "Marlene insisted on getting her all dressed up for you. They're upstairs."

"Yeah," Carolyn said. "They're trying to get Lily to dress up too."

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"Can't you guess?" Alice giggled.

James was blushing. Sirius looked at James and then exclaimed, "JAMES!"

The two girls both giggled.

"Here," Sirius said. "I've got it all."

"Thanks," James said, putting the boxes down. "Firewhiskey?"

"And butterbeer for the Heads'," Sirius said.

Remus smiled a little at them. "Thanks, guys."

Sirius shrugged. "We figured you two might as well participate, even if it isn't strong."

"Ooh!" squealed Alice.

They all turned in the direction she was staring. Sirius's mouth fell open with a pop. A thrilled look was frozen on his face, and his open mouth turned in to a huge smile.

Jenny. She looked beautiful. As usual, she had been stubborn and refused to let them put a lot of makeup on, so there wasn't much on. Her hair was down and curled to perfection, every strand was perfect arranged. She was wearing a pretty strapless dress, one with a black bodice feature and a the skirt was pure white and flowed to just above her knees. It was gorgeous. Her cautious eyes fell on Sirius. She had always been nervous in strapless dresses.

"Don't you look lovely tonight," he said in a deep voice.

Jenny blushed a little, putting her hand up to her chest. "M-me?"

"Of course. Who else would I be talking to? There is no such thing a girl more beautiful, Jen." Sirius walked up to her and held his hand out.

Blushing delicately, Jenny took his hand and walked with him to the couch, where they both sat down.

"That is a gorgeous dress. Who's is it?" asked Alice.

"Lily's. She got a size too small and was going to give it to me for Christmas, but Marlene made her give it to me," Jenny said, blushing. "I have a different dress, but I was going to save it for the Christmas Eve Ball Dance."

"It's lovely," said Carolyn. "Probably too small for me, but lovely."

"Ooh, I bet I can fit it! I have a bigger bust than you!" Alice squeaked excitedly. "Can I try it on later?"

"Heh...sure."

The guys groaned and plugged their ears. "Something we didn't need to know, girls," Remus admonished lightly.

"I bet Frank wanted to hear that, though. Speaking of which, where is he?" asked James.

"He said he'd be late. He's a prefect; out on rounds right now," Remus replied. "He'll be here around ten."

"Oh..." sighed Alice. "I can't wait."

"Where's Lily and Marlene?" James asked. "We can't start the party without them!"

"Upstairs. Lily and Marlene insisted on dressing each other. It might take another fifteen minutes," Jenny said.

Sirius put his hand on her knee, turning to face her. They spoke in low tones while the others waited impatiently.

It took almost thirty minutes for the first girl to walk down. Marlene, being wilder and bolder, walked down first. Her dress was more brazen than Jenny's. It was strapless with a neckline as way down as possible. It was a bright stunning red. Her flowy skirt fell to about mid thigh and had a slit way up. Her makeup was definite and lots. Her gorgeous blonde hair was left long and wavy.

Remus's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He stood up and paused for a moment, unsure of whether he should've done what Sirius had done and greeted her.

"Well, ready to get this party started?" she asked, walked over to Remus. "Lily, get your you know what down here!"

James walked cautiously to the stairs. Lily ambled down, fidgeting kind of nervously. She was by far the most modest. Her dress was knee-length, strapless, white with a golden sequin bust, a ruffled skirt, and she was wearing a pretty white shrug with it. Her hair was curled like Jenny's.

"J-James," she stammered.

"You look really nice," he said quickly.

"Oh, thanks," she said, smiling a little shyly.

"You guys took too long!" whined Sirius. "Let's start the party!"

"I'm here!" shouted a voice, as a long figure stumbled through the door. He rushed instinctively over to Alice and kissed her cheek.

"FRANK!" shrieked Alice happily, throwing her arms around him and kissing his lips.

"UGH!" whined Sirius. "Okay. Each of you, a shot of firewhiskey. Remus and Lily, butterbeer."

"Truth or dare," muttered James. He sipped the firewhiskey.

It had instant effects. Remus and Marlene sat down, Remus perfectly calm. Marlene leaned against him, one of her hands on his chest. They all sat in a circle.

"I'll start," slurred Sirius. "James...truth or dare."

James flushed a little. "Truth."

"Is it true that you and Anna Midgen had a broom closet encounter?"

James looked furious. "Sirius-"

"Answer the question," said Sirius.

He talked before he thought much about his answer, "Yeah. In fifth year. On accident."

Lily looked enraged. Remus, who was one of the most sober, watched her expression worriedly.

James took some more firewhiskey as directed by Sirius.

"Frank," James said. "Truth or dare."

"Dare," announced Frank.

James looked at him, and then at Alice. "I dare you to snog Alice in front of all of us."

Frank had a sloppy grin on his face. Alice giggled. They started snogging right there.

"Okay, okay, enough," Remus admonished.

Frank pulled away reluctantly and gulped down some more firewhiskey. "Marlene."

Marlene looked kind of surprised, sitting up straight. "Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Remus."

Remus flushed. Marlene, who was incredibly sober under the influence, gulped and started to blush. "Um..."

"Or you could go ask Professor McGonagall about her love life."

Sirius laughed a dog like laugh. Marlene, who began to look really uncomfortable, glanced uncertainly at Remus. Remus shrugged, pulled her close to him, and kissed her.

Marlene took some more firewhiskey, gulped it, and said, "Lily."

"Truth," Lily said.

"Is it true that you used to have a crush on James?"

Lily stuttered for a moment. "Yes."

"Ooh," crowed the girls, causing the guys to laugh.

"Isn't he hot?" squealed Carolyn, causing Lily to narrow her eyes at her friend.

James stared at Lily for a long time, as if his inebriated brain was trying to figure her out. Lily gulped a large amount of butterbeer.

"Um," Lily said cautiously. "Carolyn."

"Dare!" said Carolyn quickly.

"I dare you to go on a date with Marlene's little cousin, Amos."

"That's evil!" exclaimed Alice. "He's just a kid!"

"I know," Lily said.

Carolyn's eyes narrowed. "Okay. I will." She glared at Lily, drank a stupidly large amount of firewhiskey, and muttered, "Remus."

"Truth."

"Is it true you have never gone on a date before and you now have a crush on one of girls in Hogwarts who's been on the most dates?"

"Yes, and yes," Remus answered easily. He drank some butterbeer, and said, "Sirius."

"Dare."

It went on for quite a while. All Remus and Lily got from it was a headache. They all eventually fell quiet. Frank and Alice started snogging. Sirius and Jenny passed out next to each other. Marlene fell asleep, her head on Remus's shoulder. Carolyn passed out, as did Peter.

James walked quietly over to Lily.

"Is it really true that you snogged Anna in a broom closet?" Lily said quickly. Her eyes were exhausted, there was a weak sound in her voice.

James threw his hands up desperately. "I didn't try to, Lily. I'm sorry, I hope it doesn't upset you. It was two years ago."

"James," Lily said, an air of emotion in her voice.

"Lily?"

She stood up and walked very close to him. "James," she whispered.

"Lily," he whispered back.

She stood on her toes and kissed him. For a long time, they stood there, kissing each other. When she finally sank back down on to her feet, her toes ached. She whispered, "You smell like alcohol."

"Yeah, possibly because I was drinking some earlier."

She sighed. He kissed her because he was in a bad state of mind because of alcohol. Not because he liked her. She felt her heart sink. This was ridiculous.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

Lily, James, Remus, and Marlene were the last to walk down late Sunday morning for breakfast. When they reached the Great Hall, they were all given very strange looks.

Lily looked at Remus. "Remus, are they looking at me funny or is it just me?"

"They're looking at us funny," Remus whispered back.

"What...?" Marlene whispered. "Do you think something was passed around?"

"Gossip? A rumor?" suggested Lily softly, sitting next to James and Marlene at the table. Remus sat on Marlene's other side.

"Yeah. What do you think-"

"Hey, mudblood," said a fifth year Slytherin. "Is it true that you want to snog the first year Amos Diggory?"

Lily choked on her food. "Are you talking to me?"

"Who do you think, idiot?" sneered the Slytherin.

"NO!" Lily said forcefully. "Of course not!"

"Yeah right." He walked away, talking and jeering with his friends.

"Lily," Marlene said cautiously. "I'm not sure you remember last night...was all a blur to me..."

"Last night, I asked Carolyn to ask Amos out," whispered Lily. "I promise I didn't mean anything mean towards your little cousin, I was mad at her."

"It's okay, Lily," Marlene whispered. "But Carol wouldn't spread a rumor about you."

"Someone from last night had to, Marlie. Who else would've?"

"Lils..." Marlene frowned. "Nobody. You're right."

James said carefully. "I don't think your friends would betray you like that."

"Do you think it was Peter?" Remus asked.

"It could've been," James said, sort of darkly. "He likes to talk about anything with anyone. He can be so gullible."

Lily picked at her food. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"You need to eat," Marlene said.

"Coming from the queen of not eating," snapped Lily.

Marlene winced. "Lils..."

"I'm sorry, Marlie. I didn't mean it. It's just..." She sighed. "I thought that truth or dare was a stay in the room sort of a thing."

Marlene patted her friend's shoulder. "It'll be okay."

"Look, the paper," Lily said, taking it from a dark brown barn owl. The Daily Prophet.

"Anything interesting?" asked Remus.

Lily slowly went from looking shocked to horrified. "'16 muggles killed in a bridge collapse. You-Know-Who suspected in killings.' Of the killed: Siri Smith, Joy Leavenworth, Evan Leif, Quint Kiren, Torin Justin..." she skimmed over the rest of the names. "Oh, no." she murmured. "I know this guy."

"Who is it?" asked James.

"William Lest. He was a really good family friend. Oh, that's horrible," Lily frowned. "My Mum is probably a wreck right now. I'm going to bloody kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"We're with you all the way," said Remus.

"The war is terrible," Alice said matter-of-factly, sitting down next to them. Frank sat down with her. "I heard that he is practically undefeatable. The only wizard in the world he is afraid of is Professor Dumbledore."

"I don't think undefeatable is a word, Alice," Jenny said, also sitting.

"Did you guys say anything about the truth or dare game last night to anybody?" asked Lily, feeling bad for changing the subject to something so petty.

Alice and Jenny looked at each other, frowning. They both looked back at Lily and shook their heads.

"Is this about the Amos and Lily rumor?" Alice asked.

Lily and James both nodded.

"I think it was Peter," Frank said.

"I agree," Alice added.

Jenny frowned. "Why would Peter do that? I mean, he's gullible, but no one knew we were holding that party except ourselves, so why would they pick on him? It was a trivial issue."

"Yes, than who?" asked Alice.

Jenny hesitated. "I don't want to point fingers."

"Yes, but it's a mean rumor!" Alice snapped. "It could mean betrayal from one of our good friends!"

"Betrayal?" Jenny looked weak. She used to have difficulty with friends-she did not handle betrayal well.

Another owl flew in and landed in front of Lily.

_To my lovely Lily,_

_How is school? I hope it is amazing! Your sister says hi! :)_  
><em>I hope this first week is good for you, love. How is that one cute guy, James Potter? That is his name, right? How's he being? Annoying boys? How are your friends? And your classes?<em>  
><em>I miss you so much. I really wish you could be here. Your father misses you too. Everything is good here. You forgot Jessie here. I sent the Professor Dumbledore a letter asking if we could send the cat up somehow. He promised to come get her next weekend.<em>  
><em>Any dates with guys I should know about? Your father is asking if you're planning on coming home with a guy at Christmas or going to a guy's house for Christmas. Already! Well, I suppose it's good to plan ahead. You know, he asked me in the summer to come with him to his house for Christmas when I was young. He isn't one to mess around, you know.<em>  
><em>Be good, make good choices, remember that we ALWAYS love you!<em>

_Always loving you,_  
><em>Mum<em>

James peaked over her shoulder. "You talk to me as 'the one cute guy' to your mum?"

Lily blushed, hiding the letter in her bag. "Heh...I used to. She talks about guys a lot. I think it's because she still thinks I'm 14 and talking about every cute guy I see."

"You're parents sound really nice," he said.

"I'm sure yours are too."

James grinned. "I love my mum and dad. Someday, we'll have to introduce each other to each other."

Lily giggled at his wording. She sighed a little. "Getting letters from them is bittersweet. It always reminds me of how they don't know anything about how much danger they're in. It also reminds me of how much I love them."

James stared her for a moment. "You're so...amazing."

"Heh." She shrugged, blushing. "I'm average."

Sirius grinned. "I bet he thinks you're anything but average, girly."

Lily smiled. She stood up, saying quietly, "Let's go somewhere else. On a walk outside. I don't want to be around Slytherins who are just going to pick on us."

"Okay." James walked with her out, Remus and Marlene, Sirius and Jenny following.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six:

The walk was quiet for a while, Jenny, Lily, and Marlene hanging back to talk to each other.

"You like James," Marlene said finally, when the boys were too far ahead to hear.

Jenny looked surprised that she had spoken.

"M-me?" stuttered Lily. "M-me?"

"Yes, you," Marlene said. "I see the way you look at him, I've noticed the way you talk with him. You really like him."

"I do not!" Lily argued.

Marlene stopped. "Lily, don't lie."

"I'm not!" Lily said urgently. "I'm not!"

Jenny put her hand on Lily's shoulder. "Lily, what are you afraid of?"

"Nothing!" Lily said, her eyes wide, shrugging Jenny's hand off. "I'm not scared of anything, Jenny."

"Whatever."

"Whatever," Sirius replied to James. "I don't care what you say, we're not fourteen and fifteen anymore. You need to stop denying it and ask her out. What are you afraid of?"

"Rejection?" asked Peter.

James shrugged, almost sadly. "Maybe. I don't know."

"I am." Remus looked back at the girls, who were huddled in a small group, talking with serious looks on their faces.

"Scared of rejection? Rejection from whom?" asked Sirius.

"Marlene," James answered for him.

"Were you scared, Sirius?" asked Remus.

"Definitely. But I love her forever and always." Sirius got a distant look on his face, and looked back at the girls.

James watched the look on Sirius's face. "You're crazy. I mean, you're crazy about her."

"Heh, I probably am," he replied softly. "In fact, I'm beginning to miss her. See you guys later."

Remus laughed. Sirius turned back and rushed to Jenny. They couldn't hear the words exchanged, but the two both had huge grins on their faces, and Sirius picked her up in an enormous embrace and swung her around. They could hear Jenny's giggle of pure joy rise through the cold grounds. Sirius set her back down and hugged her tightly.

James rolled his eyes.

"I bet you wish you could do that to Lily," Remus said quietly, not teasing at all.

"Yeah. Let's go grab them and head inside. It's cold out here."

Peter followed them silently over to the group of girls.

"I love you," Sirius whispered, kissing her lightly.

Jenny blushed. "Um, Sirius..."

"I know, Jen," he replied gently. "I know. You don't need to tell me; I just thought you should know." He put his hands on her cheeks, kissing her nose and her cheeks and then her lips.

"We've only been dating a day, Sirius," she said cautiously.

"It doesn't change how I feel about you. I've loved you forever. I just didn't know how to tell you."

A small smile spread across her face, and she threw her arms around him.

"It's cold out here. We should go inside," said James softly.

Sirius and Jenny walked ahead, hand in hand, talking quietly to each other.

"How can they be so perfect for each other?" Lily said, a slight smile on her face.

"He's liked her forever," Remus said. "Ever since second year, the first time he really started to notice anyone. He always tried to impress her. When he turned fourteen, he gave up and started to go for any girl that'd have him."

"Really?" Marlene sounded shocked. "Jenny has liked Sirius since the first time she saw him at the sorting when we were first years. In fourth year, when he started going out with any girl he could find, she was so distraught. She was absolutely beside herself. She swore she'd never fall in love with anyone else."

"Obviously, true," James added helpfully.

Lily smiled. "Worked out well between them. It seems like they've been dating for years."

"They haven't even gone out on a date yet, and they're crazy."

The week passed, slowly. Hogsmeade weekends were closed off because of You-Know-Who and several more killings, involving mostly muggles.

"It's getting closer to my home," Lily said, an urgent look on her face. "I should encourage my family to go on a vacation to the United States. Or France. It's safer there."

"Lily, they're going to be fine," James said.

"Easy for you to say!" she snapped. "Your family all safe in their house, even with wands to protect them. What does my family have? A be careful from their magical daughter and a couple letters warning them of danger."

"Dumbledore promised to protect muggle families with children at Hogswarts," Remus repeated for the millionth time since they started Hogswarts a month ago.

"I think our Head Girl needs to relax," Sirius said, put his arm around Jenny. "I think we should have another party. We haven't had one since Jenny and I started dating, which was foreverago."

"Foreverago?" Jenny asked, raising her eyes a little.

"Well...long enough," muttered Sirius. "Mentioning which," he started on a new thought, a light in his eyes. "I think you should come home with me at Christmas."

James jumped up immediately. "Sirius, one, tonight is not a good idea. Mmmh, I think you know why."

Sirius slapped his head angrily. "Ah! I should've remembered!"

"Remembered? Remembered what?" Lily asked.

"Nothing, nothing," James replied airily. "And two, _your_ home?"

"Um, well, my home seems more like your home, I suppose. Ever since your parents adopted me, James," Sirius added.

Lily crossed her arms, giving each boy an equal glare. "You two are hiding something. What is going on tonight? Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nothing, Lily."

Jenny looked cautious, a little worried. "Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head again. "Sorry, ladies. We just decided we'd have...a homework night tonight."

"Oh, I'll help!" Lily and Jenny said in unison. They looked at each other and smiled.

Their smiles dropped immediately when James shook his head. "No."

"Why not?" demanded Jenny. "Why can't I be there?"

"Relax, Jen," Sirius said gently.

Jenny said keeping her anger in check, "Sirius, you...you aren't inviting different girls are you?"

Sirius's eyes rounded, and he said, "No! I wouldn't!"

Jenny nodded. She said, "I'm sure." With a soft sigh, she got up and walked away.

Lily touched Sirius's shoulder. "I don't think she believed you."

"You think?" he asked sarcastically, his eyes black with fury.

James and Sirius exchanged sad looks. "We've got to go," mumbled Remus, who had been completely silent the entire time. He pulled James, Peter, and Sirius with him.

Lily rushed up to Jenny. "I want to figure out what their doing," muttered Jenny.

"We can," Lily suggested quietly.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven:

"Jenny, they're going outside. Heading towards the forbidden forest," whispered Lily, grabbing Jenny's elbow.

Jenny boldly crept after them.

Sirius rushed in to the Gryffindor commons. "Hey, Marlene, Remus and James just left. Where's Lils and Jen?"

"They went on a walk outside," Marlene said innocently.

Sirius looked furious. "THEY DID WHAT?"

"They went outside on a walk," stuttered Marlene.

Sirius sprinted outside, his heart drumming in horror. "LILY! JENNY!" he hollered at the top of his lungs. He coughed a little. The cold night stung. The full moon shone brightly over the grounds, sending an eerie feeling through the air.

Lily turned around. She couldn't see him, but his voice rang clearly through the air. "Jenny, Sirius-"

"LILY, LOOK OUT!" Jenny screamed.

Jenny tackled Lily to the ground, gasping. A huge shape leapt through where Lily had been just half a second before. It loomed over them, and Lily stuttered fearfully.

"It's a werewolf," Lily said, tears of terror coming to her eyes.

Jenny backed up slowly. "Lily, listen..."

"The boys?" whispered Lily. "What if it got the boys?"

It stepped closer, snarling.

"We're dead," Lily mumbled.

"Sirius, get away!" shouted Jenny.

Lily glanced in the boy's direction, but all she saw was another shape come up behind them, knocking Jenny aside and crashing hard in to the werewolf. She crawled over to the limp form of her friend, but Jenny lifted her head weakly.

"What hit me?" she asked, wincing.

"A dog."

Jenny lifted her arm, and Lily gasped when she saw dark blood running from her wrist to her elbow. "Jenny...you're hurt."

"I'm fine," stuttered Jenny. "Look-"

The big dog, along with help from a large stag, herded the werewolf in to the forest. The stag glanced back, almost looking worried. The dog gave one short bark, and trotted back to them.

Lily nearly had a heart attack when the big dog changed in to Sirius Black. "SIRIUS?"

Jenny looked faint. "What are you doing out here?"

"WHAT AM I DOING OUT HERE?" he hollered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. His voice was full of emotion when he said quietly, "Jenny, you could've been killed. You too, Lily. We should get back inside in case he gets past Prongs's defenses."

"He? Who is he, Sirius?" Lily asked.

Sirius looked deeply disturbed and upset, helping the two up and starting to walk back to the castle. They had reached just about half way, and Lily was thinking about asking again, and Jenny was thinking he wasn't going to answer. Sirius murmured, "The werewolf? He is Remus."

Lily froze, her eyes wide with shock. Jenny, tired, weak from blood loss, and in shock, she fainted.

"Oh my gosh, we've got to get her to safety!" Sirius said, distressed and relieved to change the subject. He gathered Jenny in to his arms and the two conscious ones rushed in to the castle.

When they were safely inside the castle, Lily whispered, "James? Peter?"

"James, the stag, Peter the rat that you probably didn't see," mumbled Sirius. He looked sadly at Jenny's pretty face. "We have to get her to Madam Pomphrey right now!"

Jenny stirred and blinked dizzily. "Where am I?" she mumbled to the blurry shapes looming over her. "Where are my glasses?"

A hand slipped in to hers. She knew the feel and familiarity of it, and a small smile stretched gently over her features. She blinked again, and someone handed her her glasses.

"Jenny, what were you thinking?" Sirius asked, frowning down at her.

Jenny shrugged weakly. "I don't know."

"Never do that to me again," he said.

"Then you should tell me the truth," Jenny said, looking a little put out. "You can't lie like that to me. I thought you trusted me."

"I do, Jen, I do. I just don't want you...to be hurt," He cautiously glanced over at Remus, who had his arm around Marlene.

"I don't care. You should've told me," Jenny said stubbornly.

Sirius looked frustrated. "Listen, Jen, I was trying to protect you."

"Someday, you'll have to admit that I can protect myself and let me try to help you on stuff!" Jenny said, her voice raising a little. She pulled her hand out of Sirius's.

Sirius frowned. "Jenny, I...I don't want to lose you! What if something happened to you? Something almost did tonight."

"Because you didn't tell me."

"Sure, make it all my fault!" Sirius shouted.

"Well it is!" she shouted back.

Sirius glared furiously. "It is not! I was trying to protect you!"

"I don't need protecting! If you had told me the truth, everything would've been alright!"

"It wasn't my truth to tell! It's Remus's problem!"

Jenny said angrily, "Then you could've at least told me that it wasn't your secret! You didn't need to keep me in the dark to it!"

Sirius growled, "You wouldn't've believed me."

"Yes I would've!"

"No you wouldn't!"

"Stop being so argumentative!" she shrieked. "You act like I am a four year old!"

"Because that's how you act!" Sirius looked just as enraged.

Jenny glared, her eyes alight with fury. Her voice was almost even, but it was cold and dark. "If you think that, I'm going to remove myself from your presence."

Sirius looked almost sad. "Wait, Jenny-"

"Leave me alone, Sirius," she said quietly. She pulled herself out of the bed, toppled awkwardly over to Lily, who helped her out of the room.

"Jenny, Jenny," Sirius said, but James grabbed his shoulders.

"Let her calm down," James advised softly. "She's feeling hurt right now because you lied to her. At least let it boil over first. Try saying sorry later, once she's had some rest and time to herself to think."

"But-" Sirius looked at the closed door painfully.

"Remus and I are going to go for a walk," Marlene said. "To talk about things."

The Marauders looked at each other, shrugged, and nodded. "See you, Moony," mumbled Padfoot, following Prongs to the Gryffindor commons.

"I can't believe him," Jenny told Lily finally, her face completely clear and bold excepting the slight quivering of her lower lip, showing her want to start crying. "I can't believe he thinks he's always right."

"He did want to protect you, Jenny. I'm not saying it justifies it, but I'm saying he thought he was doing it for your own good." Lily looked at the mirror quietly.

Jenny looked at herself in the mirror next to Lily. "I don't know why he likes me so much. I'm not even that pretty."

Lily hit Jenny's shoulder lightly. "Never say that, Jenny! You're beautiful. Don't let this small fight get you down."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight:

Jenny, her arm bandaged still, walked quietly with Lily, Marlene, and Alice down to the Great Hall. It was December 19th, and nothing seemed to be going right for the four girls.

Marlene was arguing with Remus, who was upset and worried Marlene wouldn't love him because of his small wolf problem.

Alice was depressed because Frank seemed to be avoided her. Whenever she got near him, he would give her a quick smile and say he had somewhere to go.

Jenny was still fighting with Sirius. It got so bad to the point where she completely tried to shut him out of her life. She avoided him, ignored him, and cried in her dorm before she went to sleep and when she was alone. She missed him much, but she wasn't ready to forgive him, and he wasn't saying sorry.

To top it all, James hadn't asked Lily out.

"Frank's been avoiding me," Alice said sadly, her voice so full of emotion that Lily was surprised the girl wasn't sobbing.

"We know, Alice," Lily said gently. "We're sorry."

Alice sighed sadly, sitting down and beginning to pick at her food. "Maybe he just doesn't love me like he says he does. Nobody loves me anymore."

"That's not true!" exclaimed Marlene. "We love you!"

"And Frank does love you," Lily added. "He's just acting weird."

Jenny picked at her food dejectedly too. Her eyes were frozen almost, clear and cold, but there was a depth of sadness in them.

"Lily, look, it's your owl," said Marlene. "It's not the Prophet either."

"My mum wrote!" Lily said, in an attempt to cheer them up.

She opened up the letter and a thin piece of paper fell out in addition.

"Lily, what is it?" Marlene asked, holding up a gray piece of thin paper.

"It's a newspaper," Lily replied, opening up the folded sides.

Jenny watched Lily curiously. Lily's expression fell, looking horrified, shocked, distressed, and then disbelief.

"No. NO!" Lily cried. She jumped from her seat so quickly that her chair fell backwards with a loud CLANG, abandoning her food, her bag, and her letter in her haste to leave. She passed all four marauders on the way out.

"What's with Lily?" demanded James.

Jenny grabbed the paper carefully as if it contained some deadly disease. "It says:

_**Another series of deaths:**_

_The Waterfront Bridge collapsed at 5 p.m. late yesterday afternoon. It is the third bridge to have collapsed in the last two years. Police are checking bridges nearby for weakness in the structures.  
>This one was luckier than the others, as most who were injured survived. Of the dead are four, namely: Anna Minnes, 51, Christopher Light, 55, Elizabeth Early 18, and-"<em>

Jenny broke off, a look of horror passing her face. A single tear fell down her cheek.

"And?" asked Sirius.

"A-and," Jenny said slowly. "Casey. Evans."

"Lily's dad," James said. "Oh merlin. I've got to go make sure she's alright." James leapt up and sprinted out of the room.

"Oh, poor Lily," Marlene whispered, looking shaken. Remus sat down next to her, and she threw her arms around him.

Sirius looked at Jenny. Jenny looked at Sirius. They both sighed and looked away quietly.

"I, um...I'm going to go check on Lily," Jenny said quietly, almost to Sirius.

Sirius nodded, but finding he couldn't find anything neutral to say, he sat down next to Remus and Peter and watched her leave. He mumbled, "I am a selfish idiot."

"You are not," admonished Remus. "You are nothing of the sort."

"Yes, I am. I don't even consider what my girlfriend could possibly be going through, and how she feels wronged by me, and Lily's dad..."

"You just didn't know what to say. Now, you should go talk to Jenny."

Sirius looked at Remus sadly.

"Lily," James gasped, finally finding her and having sprinted the whole way.

"J-James," she stammered, trying desperately to hide her tears. "Good morning."

He threw his arms around her. She started sobbing and buried her face in his chest. Her voice trembled, and her back shook with cries. She mumbled against his chest, "I can't believe it. My father, James. My dad! My DADDY!" She was nearly hysterical with grief.

James rocked her back and forth gently, stroking her hair. He wanted to say that it was okay, but it wasn't. He knew her point of view. At the moment, nothing seemed okay.

"He'll never get to meet my boyfriend or, or walk me down the aisle...or see his grandkids...or go camping and roast marshmallows...he'll never see Petunia ma-marry th-that stupid bloke, Vernon..." she choked a little in her sobs and looked up at James's face.

James set his hand on her forehead. "There's a lot of things he's going to miss, but he would want you to enjoy them. He'll be so proud of you and your life."

Lily sighed sadly and hugged him tightly, pressing her face against his chest. "I wanted so badly for him to meet you. He'd like you a lot."

"Heh. Do you like me a lot?"

"Is that a trick question?"

James stuttered a little. "N-no."

"Of course I do, James."

"I like you a lot too, Lily."

Jenny stepped quietly out of the room, careful to not disturb them. Lily had enough comfort in James. She'd just be sad to leave him now. Jenny walked back down towards the Great Hall and met up with her friends half way.

"Is Lily alright?" asked Remus.

"She's with James right now," Jenny replied softly.

Sirius said, "Then of course she's alright."

He earned an elbow in the ribs from Remus.

"I, um, think I'll go lie down," Jenny said. "I'm kind of tired."

"You need to pack," Sirius said quietly. "The train is leaving at ten for Christmas break."

Jenny's eyes filled with tears when she glanced up at Sirius. "You still want me to go?"

"Of course I want you to go with me. I already invited you." He seemed completely almost indifferent.

Jenny saw past the indifference. Her eyes overflowing with tears, she let out a happy squeak that developed in to a sob, and she threw her arms around him, shaking with her sobs.

"J-Jen," stuttered Sirius. "I-It's okay."

"You're so amazing," she cried.

Sirius looked at Remus, his arms around Jenny. "I don't understand," he said, puzzled. "I thought you hated me."

"I can't hate you, you stupid bloke! You are impossible to hate!" She stood on her toes and kissed him.

Sirius's puzzled expression changed immediately in to joy and excitement. "I love you," he murmured, kissing her neck.

She was a little startled, but she smiled and pressed her forehead against his neck. "I love you, too," she whispered.

"What?" he asked softly.

"I love you."

Sirius's eyes widened with delight. "Really?"

"Of course," she replied.

He kissed her, his eyes alight with happiness.

Alice grumbled, "I wish they'd stop."

Remus prodded Sirius's shoulder. "Knock it off, mate. Save it for your room."

"Remus!" exclaimed Jenny.

Marlene hit his shoulder lightly.

Sirius frowned slightly when the door behind Remus opened, and Lily and James, holding hands, walked out.

"Come, we're going to miss the train," James said. "Sirius, you're going to be by yourself at my house. I'm going to go with Lily."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine:

The train ride was quiet. Only James, Lily, Sirius, Jenny, Marlene, Remus, Alice and Frank were on the train. It was very long and almost boring. James sat next to Lily, who was practically in his lap with her head in his shoulder. Sirius and Jenny were sitting there with their arms around each other. Remus and Marlene were next to each other too, and Alice was on Frank's lap with her forehead against his neck.

"Food anyone?" asked James, his voice a little muffled against Lily's hair.

"I'm starving!" Sirius exclaimed. He looked at Jenny and kissed her cheek. "You, sweetheart?"

She gave him a little teasing glare. "I'm fine."

"I'll go get some food," Remus told them. He came back in two minutes, almost precisely, but without the food. "Hey, we'll be there in five minutes."

Lily got a foreign look on her face, and she stared out the window. "I should warn you James," she said quietly, slowly. "Petunia hates me and she'll probably hate you too."

"Oh, Lils, that's fine," James replied.

Lily nodded a little, her face a little pale. "Okay." She fell silent and looked out the window again.

The train squeaked to a stop.

"Let's go," Remus said. He gave Marlene a hand and added, "We'll see you guys after break. Have a very merry Christmas."

"You too," Lily said quietly. Very sickened, she slowly and carefully gathered her trunk. She gave Marlene, Jenny, and Alice hugs, and the boys a hug as well. "Sirius, we'll see you guys sometime."

"Yeah. Good luck, Lils," Sirius kissed her forehead.

James took Lily's hand and they left together, closely followed by Sirius and Jenny.

Lily dropped her trunk and her cat's cage on accident, her face pale and horrified as she stared out at the gathered folks waiting for their children.

"Lily! Are you alright?" James picked up her stuff and helped her outside.

"I can't believe he's not here. I can't believe he's gone," Lily said, a horrified look of grief crossing her face.

"Oh, Lils," Jenny put her hand on Lily's shoulder.

"Go," Sirius said quietly. "We're holding up half the train."

Lily walked forward silently and slowly, almost as if she were walking to her death. "Mum," she said.

James looked at the small woman Lily was staring at. She was a short woman with long black hair and glasses. She was pretty for sure and looked much like Lily, but the hair and eyes threw it off totally.

"Lily," her mum said, tears coming to her eyes as she gave her younger daughter a hug. "Oh, Lily."

"I'm sorry, mum, I should've told you, can James come to the house?"

Her mum looked at the young man. "Is this James?"

"Um, yeah," James replied, holding his hand out awkwardly to shake. "I am James Potter."

"Delia Evans," greeted Lily's mum. "I'm pleased to meet you. I apologize, I didn't know you were coming. I'll set up a room for you."

"Oh, no, don't apologize," James said gallantly. "It is no problem at all. I just offered to come just this morning. I still have to tell my parents." He glanced over at a tall older couple. "If you will excuse me..." He walked over to them, and Sirius and Jenny.

"He is like your father," Delia said quietly, staring at where he had walked.

Lily felt her eyes start to blur. "Mum, dad-he-did he die quickly? Painlessly?"

Delia started to get bitter. A cold look passed her face. "No," she growled.

Lily felt a jolt of shock go through her body. "I...I thought..." The killing curse was quick?

"He was caught under a bridge support in the smashed up car. I held him in my arms as he died. He was in pain for almost two hours when the ambulance got there. They asked me if they could give up and try to get him out of pain. It...It was so hard to s-see h-h-him in pain...I agreed." Delia bowed her head in grief and she started to shake with sobs. "I killed him."

"Mother," Lily whispered, tears in her eyes.

Delia shook her head. "You can't say anything to change it, Lily." There was raw grief in her eyes, pain beyond imagining, guilt beyond what a human could possibly feel. Lily swore to herself she'd never do anything to make herself feel so guilty.

James walked over, carefully touching Delia's shoulder to cause her to look up at him.

"I would like you to meet my parents," James said, grabbing Lily's hand.

Lily looked at her, wiping her eyes. "Okay. Mum?"

"Sure," Delia whispered, following them.

The tall man with messy hair and glasses greeted them. "Pleased to meet you, I am Harold Potter."

Delia shook their hands, and so did Lily. James's mum shook their hands with sweet energy, smiling at both of them. "Catherine Potter. It's a pleasure."

"Mrs Evans," Catherine said gently. "I am very sorry about your husband. If you ever need help, have James write us."

Delia nodded, tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Catherine. Please call me Delia."

"Of course," replied Catherine.

"See you after break," James said, giving Sirius a pat on the back and Jenny a hug.

"You too," Jenny said, holding Sirius's hand.

James nodded, grabbing Lily's hand and following Mrs Evans to the car. It was a short car ride, both ladies were quiet. James opened the doors for the both of them, causing Mrs. Evans to smile at him thankfully and Lily to hold his hand.

"Petunia!" called Delia.

A tall, horsey woman walked downstairs. "Oh, Lily-freak. You've changed."

"As have you," Lily said quietly. Truth was, Petunia hadn't changed much at all.

Petunia glared, throwing her hair behind her ear. "Is this your boyfriend?"

Lily's shoulders drooped a little. "I don't know."

Petunia snorted. "That's real nice of you, Lily. Bring home a boyfriend to have fun the day after Dad dies."

Lily erupted. "I DID NOT!" she screamed. "HE CAME HERE TO HELP! I LOVED DAD!" Lily ripped away, sobbing. She had not meant to blow up, but the grief she had kept bottled in exploded.

"Lily," James said. "Oh, Lily."

"Wait," Delia said, looking tired. "Don't. She needs some time to think."

James watched where the pretty girl had disappeared. "L-Lily."

"You are only here because you love Lily," sneered Petunia. "You're not here to help. You're going to make it worse."

James teared his gaze from the door to Petunia. "I do love Lily. And that's why I am here to help."

Petunia glared. "I'm leaving. You freaks can enjoy yourselves here."

"Be nice and don't do anything stupid with Vernon," Delia said quietly.

"Whatever," Petunia grabbed a coat and left.

James turned towards Delia. "Where do you think Lily went?"

"The back garden, probably," Delia whispered. "She always goes back there. Casey would...would go back and comfort her. I'm going to make dinner."

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans."

"Of course, James."

James rushed out to Lily, who had her head in her hands.

"Sh-she thinks it's all my fault, and mum thinks it's all her fault, and Petunia..." she sniffled, her back shaking with sobs.

"Lily, Lils," James murmured, putting his arms around her. "Shh, shh, I'm here."

She held on tightly to his waist, sobbing hysterically. "I...I can't believe it. I promised myself I'd protect them...I failed. I failed him. I FAILED HIM!"

James kissed her forehead. "You didn't fail anybody. It isn't your fault, Lily."

"Sure it isn't," she whispered. "I was the only one that could protect him."

"Lily, you can't protect everybody," James admonished gently. "Like Sirius trying to protect Jenny. Protecting doesn't always work. It doesn't last forever, Lily. You have to realize that you can't protect the world from the badness of it."

"I have to try!" Lily shouted, tears streaming down her face.

James looked sad. "Lily-"

"I can't lose the people I love, James," she whispered, a look of urgency to get him to understand passing her features. "I can't. I am a selfish person, but I can't lose you."

Surprised, James jerked up. "You...you..."

"I can't lose you. I..."

There was a long unintentional silence. Lily stopped crying eventually.

"Can I take you out on a date?" James asked.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten:

"Mum, we're going out," Lily called. "Would you like us to buy anything in town?"

Delia smiled weakly. "I forgot to get my medication from the drug store. Can you pick it up?"

"You forgot your medication?" yelled Lily.

"Lils, calm down," Delia said. "I'm fine. Nothing wrong right now. Just pick it up, 'kay sweetie?"

"Of course, Mum." Lily held James's hand which was wrapped around her waist. "We'll be back in a couple hours."

"Hey, you know," Delia offered. "Vernon is here. Maybe you and Petunia can go on a double date."

"No!" exclaimed Lily and James at the same time.

"Heh, sorry Mum," Lily said. "But I think we'll just go by ourselves."

Lily led James through muggle London, leading him first to the drugstore, which he looked through with keen interest.

"Why does your mother need mekidation?" he asked.

Lily giggled. "James, medication."

"Sorry."

"She has cancer. She needs her medication all the time to keep away the pain and exhaustion. I guess she forgot it because Dad isn't here to pick it up for her."

James frowned. In his mind, he swore he'd never leave someone he loved behind to suffer. "I'm sorry your mum has to suffer so much, Lily. I wish..."

"I wish too," Lily whispered.

They were quiet as they walked hand in hand along the street.

"You hungry?" Lily asked. "Here's a restaurant."

"Sure."

They ate and talked for some time, when James froze and stared out of the window.

"NO," he growled. "It can't be."

"What is it, James?" asked Lily.

"Get down!" James hollered, shoving Lily to the floor. He dived down next to her.

"Ow," muttered Lily under her breath, rubbing her elbow. "James, what is it?"

There was a red flash of light, and Lily's eyes widened when she realized it was a spell. It hit the far wall, causing it to shrink and the roof caved in.

"It's him," James whispered. "Get back."

"I don't have my wand!" Lily cursed.

James was way ahead of her, lifting his wand to aim at the ceiling that was just about to smash them to bits and stumbling over words, said, "Reparo." The ceiling froze in the air and then shot up and repaired itself. James stood up and glared at the wizard who had just walked in. It was indeed him.

"Move out of my way and I shall not kill you," he growled from under his hood.

"I refuse. You will not harm innocent muggles."

There was an evil smile. "I will not. Your Order of the Phoenix is coming. I am leaving-this time, James Potter. I promise the next time we meet will result in your death."

"No!" Lily shouted, jumping up and holding tightly on to James. "I won't let you ever kill him!"

"Oh, Miss Evans, it's too late," purred the cold voice. He disappeared with a loud crack, just as the door was thrown open. Lily screamed at the sight of them, but James had never been so relieved in his entire life. He held a hysterically sobbing Lily close to his chest.

"WHERE IS HE?" demanded Arthur Weasley, closely followed by Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Professor Dumbledore.

James stuttered a little. "What is the Order of the Phoenix?"

Professor Dumbledore, looking a little disappointed and dismayed, glanced at Alastor Moody. "Alastor, I reckon we should tell them."

The other man just shrugged.

"Sit down," Professor Dumbledore ordered at he sat down at the small restaurant table.

"He apparated," mumbled Lily, still holding on to James. "Are you the Order of the Phoenix? What is it?"

Arthur looked around, observing how the restaurant was completely clean. "I thought it was destroyed."

"I repaired it," James muttered.

Professor Dumbledore started talking. "The Order of the Phoenix is a top secret organization that is against Lord Voldemort." All of them shuddered at the name except Lily. "Would you like to join?"

James gaped at him. "M-me? J-join?"

"Your parents are in it," stated Dumbledore. "I suppose they did not tell you?"

"No! Of course they didn't!" James exclaimed a little snappishly.

"I would like to," Lily said quietly, still looking extremely terrified and sick, but she loosened her hold on James. "I would love to."

"Do you realize how dangerous it is?" Arthur asked carefully.

James glared at him a little. "I'm not sure you realize that you are only two years older than us, Arthur."

"James, this is life or death."

"Don't talk to me about death!" hissed Lily. "My father died!"

James tried to console her, but she pulled herself farther away. "Do any of you understand even a little?" she growled. "I tried to protect him so much and I failed! I have never failed in anything, and I finally get something important to accomplish and I failed!"

"Lily," Arthur said gently, it was easy to see how he could control Molly now. "If you join the Order, you're going to have to protect everybody, but you'll have our help. We have a meeting on tomorrow; Molly and I can pick you up at your mother's and take you there."

"I'll go to," James added, feeling a little left out.

"Of course, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore replied. "You were sort of a given."

James asked cautiously, "What about Sirius? And Remus?"

Alastor Moody gave him a severe look. "We will discuss this later, Mr. Potter. It is enough that we already asked the two of you. Miss Evans, please go straight back to your home. Arthur will pick the two of you up at 7 pm sharp tomorrow evening." With a sharp and loud crack, Alastor disappeared.

Kingsley bowed kindly to Lily and nodded at James, before disappearing as well.

"Any other kind costumers?" James asked, almost coldly.

"Forgive me for saying, Mr. Potter," Arthur said carefully. "You are going to have to gain their respect. You have to go through a lot to. Lily already has. Plus, men are more likely to give their respect to women first anyway."

"Don't worry; you've already earned mine," Professor Dumbledore said politely. "Get home safely, Miss Evans." He disappeared too.

Lily said quietly, "I gather Molly is going to be there."

"Of course. She refused to let me go there without her," Arthur smiled, a light in his eyes when he spoke of Molly. "Have a safe walk." He disappeared with a loud crack.

"Shall we go?" James asked after a couple minutes. Lily had stayed frozen, staring at where the Dark Lord had been.

"I hate him," she snarled viciously. "He wants to take everything I love away from me."

James hesitated cautiously. "Let's go, Lily. Don't forgot your mum's mekidation."

"Medication," corrected Lily, the fire in her eyes replaced with the dullness and exhaustion she had whenever she was reminded of her family. James, a little worried about her, grabbed her elbow and they walked silently back to Lily's muggle home.

"Mum, your medication," Lily said, giving it to her.

Delia looked worse than earlier, and Lily felt horrible, wishing they had gotten there sooner.

"Have you been throwing up again?" Lily asked, looking worried.

Delia took some of her medication out, nodding painfully. "I'm sorry, dear, I was near fainting again and couldn't pick it up."

"Oh, mum!" Lily cried. "Do not worry about that!" She flicked her wand and murmured a few charms. Immediately, the room was and smelled clean and fresh, as if nothing had happened.

Delia choked her approval. "I'm so impressed with what you can do, my dear."

"I'll finish the dinner for you, Mrs. Evans," James said. "Are you expecting company?"

Delia shook her head. "Only Vernon."

"So much worry over Vermin, mum?" Lily asked, causing James to chuckle.

Delia smiled weakly. "Vernon, dear. Be nice to your sister's fiancé, Lils."

"If she'll be nicer to mine," muttered Lily.

Delia looked worried. "Your fiance?"

Lily flushed. "NO! I mean, my boyfriend."

"Ooh, is that what I am?" asked James, looking extremely smug and very satisfied.

"Heh, sort of," Lily replied. "I thought you were cooking!"

James grinned, looking overjoyed as he skipped in to the kitchen.

Delia lied down weakly on the couch, and Lily sat in the easy chair nearby. Deliberately, Delia began talking. "You seem to be very fond of the young man. Going everywhere with him."

"He is a very kind person," Lily said, shrugging a little. She winced when she remembered her elbow and looked at it carefully. It was scraped and had an unnaturally large scab, but other than that, it was fine. She put her elbow back down.

"What happened?"

"The, um, villain was in the same restaurant as us. You know, the guy called He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"Oh. Did anything bad happen?"

"No."

There was another soft silence, and then her mum spoke again. "How come you never speak of your relationship? You have never kissed him or anything. You sit next to him and hold his hand, but you never say anything to each other."

Lily's shoulders drooped. "Oh, mum," she mumbled sadly. "He doesn't love me."

"That's not true!" Delia exclaimed, a little feebly, considering her frail condition. "Have you ever seen the look in his eyes when he's thinking about you?"

"I-I-"

"What's going on between you? Are you dating?"

Lily felt tears start to sting her eyes. "I was horrible to him, mum. Why would he love me now? I am such a selfish person! All I ever worry about is my family! I never think about him! I don't deserve him!" Once she got the words off her chest, everything was much more painful. She broke down in to tears and started sobbing. "I don't deserve him."

"That isn't true, and he definitely does not seem to think that," Delia replied, disapprovingly. "Lily Evans, you worry too much. Someday, you're just going to have to feel emotions. Rely on them instead of thoughts and words. Actions speak louder than words."

"Yeah..." sniffed Lily. "I still don't deserve him. I don't deserve his love or...or how great he is."

"He is great," Delia mused. "But that doesn't mean you don't deserve him. Love isn't about being good enough for another person, Lily."

"He doesn't love me," Lily said despairingly. "I wish he did."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven:

_"He is great," Delia mused. "But that doesn't mean you don't deserve him. Love isn't about being good enough for another person, Lily."_

_"He doesn't love me," Lily said despairingly. "I wish he did."_

James was shocked to hear this, and then a little horrified. Lily would never speak to him again if she knew he had eavesdropped. The nice aura of his cooking food called him back to the weird thing called a stove, which he had been able to figure out with ease due to his 'great' intelligence.

"It smells delicious."

James turned around quickly. "Oh, yeah. Is your mum alright, Lils?"

"I think so," Lily replied quietly, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Do-do you ever think about the future?"

James sat down across from her. "Yes."

"You do?" she squeaked a little, the pain in her eyes so evident that it made his eyes burn a little. The tears wanted to fall, but she held them back somehow. Just the glittering of her watery eyes made the pain more real.

"Of course I do. I just don't dwell on it." James quickly added, feeling like he was making Lily think she was dwelling on it, "I try not to dwell on what happened in the past, and I don't try to dwell on what will happen in the future. It doesn't help anything, Lily."

"It doesn't, does it?" Lily whispered.

"Time for dinner!" called Delia, causing the couple from upstairs to skip downstairs reluctantly. The woman, looking relatively better, walked in to the kitchen. "Oh, it smells amazing, James! I didn't know you could cook!"

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans."

Petunia wrinkled her nose. "It's alright. Vernon, dear, this is my sister, Lily, and her boyfriend, Jake."

James cleared his throat. "It's James, James Potter. Pleased to meet you, um, Vermin?"

Lily had to hide a smile, and quickly put some macaroni and cheese in to her mouth.

"It's Vernon," said the large man coldly. "So Lily met you at her 'school'?"

"Well, yes."

"And you invited yourself over to the house?" he sneered.

James looked at Lily. "Um, sort of."

"How impolite. I knew Lily wouldn't choose anything more, though," he smirked.

Lily looked hurt, but disguised it quickly with a mockingly sweet smile. "Yes, Vernon. He just barged in and decided to stay at the house to help after Dad, and he very rudely offered to make dinner, and then he awfully wanted to go get my mum's medication. Have you done anything horrible like that?"

James snorted, and Delia hid a smile.

"Be kind, kids," Delia said timidly.

"Why do we have to listen to you?" snapped Petunia. "Old bat-you are-"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Lily, jumping up immediately, knocking over and shattering plates and spilling macaroni everywhere. Her chair fell backwards with a familiar clang.

Petunia looked shocked.

"DADDY WOULD'VE NEVER LET YOU CALL MUM THAT!" she screeched. "HOW DARE YOU? Get out of here-right now!" She demandingly indicated the front door. "Go spend the night at Vermin's!"

Petunia, to her shock, took Vernon's arm and walked away. She looked back and sneered, "Old bat."

"Get out!" shrieked Lily.

Delia put her hand on Lily's arm. Once Petunia and Vernon had left, she said quietly, "You didn't need to do that, Lils."

"How long has she been disrespecting you like that, Mum? Because I'll put a stop to it right now," Lily said roughly.

"How will you? You can't stop the guilt or the pain, Lily. It doesn't change what I am."

"It isn't true!" Lily cried. "It isn't!"

James quietly began picking up the kitchen, washing the dishes with a flick of his wand and repairing the broken plates and cleaning the spilled macaroni.

"I wish I could do that," Delia said, watching James in awe.

"Mum, don't let it get you down," Lily pleaded, tears in her eyes. "Please-you're better than that, Mum."

"Go to bed, Lily. It's late," Delia said quietly. "I'll finish cleaning up. I set up a bed for James in your room."

"We have to sleep in the same room?" Lily and James asked, at the same time.

"Or on the couch," Delia replied. "But I trust you too enough. Vernon and Petunia-" her nose wrinkled. "-Not so much."

They walked upstairs. Lily changed in the bathroom and walked out in her pink butterfly pajamas. She didn't even consider the fact that it was kind of embarrassing-little kid-like pajamas in front of James. She lied down on her soft, long abandoned bed and closed her eyes.

James lied down in a bed a couple feet away. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, and then turned off the lights. "Good night, Lily."

Lily didn't reply, already asleep.

There was a loud scream. James jerked up immediately and reached for his wand. He flicked on a light and winced against the sudden brightness. The door and window were shut tight. He glanced at Lily worriedly, only to realize she was screaming in her sleep.

With a cautious sigh, he set down his wand and walked over to wake her up. Too late: she jerked up, sobbing and screaming. She stuttered a little and gasped, tears staining her eyes.

"Where is he?" she demanded. "Where am I?"

"Lily, it was just a nightmare," James said softly. "Just a nightmare."

Lily buried herself in his chest, sobbing. "James, James, I saw him. I saw him dying, in pain..."

James dimmed the light, and sat on her bed next to her, holding her carefully. "Shh, Lils, Lils, it's okay, I'm here now."

"It will never be okay...she blames herself, James...it isn't her fault...it's mine."

"Nothing is your fault, Lily," James said urgently. "You have to understand that."

Soon, she quieted. "I'm going back to my bed now, Lils. Sleep tight."

"No!" she cried quickly. "Please...don't leave me, James."

James held her in his arms for a long time. Eventually, he lied down next to her, and she leaned in to him for comfort. Finally, she fell asleep. Sleepily, James squinted at the clock. 2:30. Really?

He closed his eyes reluctantly, ignoring the soft whisper to get back in to his own bed, and fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve:

"I'm sorry, Delia," James apologized. "It's top secret. It's just a thing against the...um, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I'm not sure when we'll be back. Arthur promised to be here in five minutes."

"It's no problem, James. You two stay safe," Delia replied.

James looked across the room at Lily. The girl, after waking up and finding him in the same bed as her, was absolutely ashamed and resolved to not speaking to him all day. She was mortified by her early morning actions, and didn't want to pressure anything. James, disappointed, fell in to the pattern and hoped she would talk soon. Delia noticed and tried to comfort the both of them, but if anything, made everything worse.

There was a loud knock, to which James answered immediately.

"Ahh, good evening, James," greeted Arthur. "Lily here?"

"Yes. She's getting her coat."

"James," Molly nodded at him kindly, smiling. "Good to see you."

"You too, Molly. It's been a while."

She smiled. "Yes, indeed it has. Oh, hi Lily!"

"We'll have to side-along apparate," Arthur informed them. "James, you with me, Molly with Lily."

"Why?" James asked.

"Well, Lily doesn't know where it is, and you will recognize it, but I don't want to be overheard," Arthur said, smiling. "Ready?"

James grabbed Arthur's elbow, and Molly grabbed Lily's hand. With two separate cracks, the four disappeared on the threshold of the house.

"We're here!" announced Arthur happily. "Yes, yes, good to see y'all...Here we have James Potter and Lily Evans."

"JAMES?" exclaimed a woman. Catherine Potter rushed to her son, throwing her arms around him. "Lily! What in heck are you doing here?"

"They were among the restaurant incident," Alastor Moody replied moodily. "Unfortunately, they were invited to the meeting."

James glared a little at him. "Well, um...why-are we in my living room?"

"Yes, son," Harold replied. "We offered to hold the meeting here tonight."

"Where's Sirius?"

"Sirius! Jenny!" shouted Harold.

A young man looked up from across the room. "JAMES!" he shouted, running and tripping over wizards and witches to get to his friend.

"Lily!" Jenny exclaimed, following Sirius in a much more graceful manner. "How've you been? James been good to you?"

Lily blushed. "I'll tell you later," she whispered. "But yes, he's been great. He made dinner, and my mum is very happy. What about you and Sirius?"

Jenny blushed too, excitedly though. "Amazing. Ever since he was able to forgive me and I him, everything's been great. James's parents are amazing too. We just found out about the Order thingy meeting...so excited!"

"I know, I know, me too!" Lily said.

Jenny and Lily eventually got to a more secretive place.

"What happened between you and James?" Jenny asked finally as she sliced cautiously in to her dessert.

Lily spoke slowly. "I was just a little embarrassed...I had a bad nightmare and he tried to comfort me...we woke up in the same bed, and I was embarrassed...I kind of shouted at him. Haven't talked to him all day. I...I think I really do like him, Jenny. What am I going to do? He only sees me as a friend."

"Hey, mate," Sirius said finally. "You're acting really strange. What's up?"

"I don't know, Sirius," James said quietly. "I, um, upset Lily."

"How?"

"She doesn't like me, Sirius," James said sadly. "We went on a date yesterday and everything..."

"James, of course she likes you!" Sirius argued quickly. "Last year she would've never gone out with you, and how she's been acting recently? It isn't just because you are a good friend. It's because she is absolutely in love with you and can't be without you!"

James smiled a little. "Are you just saying that because your my friend?"

Sirius grinned. "Well, not really. She really does like you. 'In love' may be a bit strong phrase to use...but, same thing."

"Well, let's get this meeting started," announced Harold Potter gravely, creating the conversations to dim and everyone to gather around the dinner table. "We have four new guests this evening. One is my own son, James Potter, and his good friend Sirius Black, Sirius's girlfriend, Jenny Marlie, and last but not least, Lily Evans."

Lily's last name caused a bit of a murmur; apparently, everyone already knew everything that had to do with You-Know-Who's killings.

"James and Lily were caught in the restaurant incident, were they not?" Harold asked.

"Indeed, they were," Professor Dumbledore said.

"Can they let us know what happened?" Harold asked.

Lily and James looked at each other. Lily started cautiously choosing her words, "We were eating lunch, talking like normal, when James suddenly freaks out and pushes me to the floor, and he dives under the table. The ceiling started to cave in, and we were done for for sure, but James had his wand and repaired it just seconds before it had a chance to hurt anyone. Then..._He_ walked through the door." She looked at James.

James, for the first time in his life, looked like he was experiencing fear. "H-he told me to get out of his way. I do not know why he didn't kill me, I expected him to start killing muggles instantly. He gave me a death threat and left."

"And I'm guessing that's when we burst through the doors," Arthur finished. "Nothing else happened? Lily was sobbing hysterically."

Lily flushed. "Heh...the death threat seemed so real..."

"She's just a kid," muttered Alastor Moody.

This caused Lily to flush more, and Catherine to put her arm around Lily comfortingly.

James cautiously crossed the room to sit next to her, Jenny, and Sirius. Lily smiled weakly at him, an air of surrender in her features. She looked uncannily like Delia with that expression on her face. James carefully put his arm around her in comfort, and she leaned against him.

"Eh hem," Harold cleared his throat. "To continue, no muggles were harmed?"

"Their memories modified and they saw nothing," Albus Dumbledore informed.

"We believe he has retreated to the Forbidden Forest near Hogwarts," said a young woman, Minerva McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore's apprentice.

There were a couple of nervous glances from the parents of students, all of whom had students that stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays.

"And they will be protected every second I am there," Professor Dumbledore announced. "And I will be getting back momentarily."

"Maybe we should have these meetings in your office, Albus," offered Mr. Diggory, Marlene's uncle and Amos's dad.

Professor Dumbledore shook his head. "I do not believe that to be the answer. It is too...obvious. It isn't secretive enough." He paused, and then looked at Catherine. "Mrs. Potter, I need to speak with you. This meeting is adjourned until further notice."

Everyone left except Professor Dumbledore, Minvera, Arthur and Molly, the Potters, and Lily, Sirius, and Jenny.

Professor Dumbledore said, "Catherine, I would like your son to do something for me."

Catherine tried hard not to look panicked. Harold put his hand on her shoulders. "Um, what is it Albus?" she asked nervously.

"I want him to find out information about Voldemort's whereabouts."

"He's too young!" Catherine cried immediately.

"But he won't be suspected," Professor Dumbledore argued softly. "It will be nothing, I promise. I will even be with him."

"Mum," James said, catching everyone's attention. "I want to go."

Lily felt like someone was strangling her. "J-James, please don't," she stuttered. "P-please d-don't go."

"I have to! This is great!" James said. "I can help you, find him, avenge your father!"

"James, don't go," Lily pleaded.

"Oh, please don't hold me back, Lils," James said. "When do we leave, Professor?"

"Right now, with me and Minerva. You'll get back tomorrow night. Lily, I'll send your mother a letter if you wish to stay here and await our return."

Lily nodded, sickened. "Please don't, James. Tomorrow is Christmas eve. This can't...I..."

"I'll be back tomorrow night. See you!" James excitedly apparated with Minerva.

"He's awfully excited," Catherine mumbled. "I can't believe how grown up he is."

"You raised him well, Cathy," Albus Dumbledore said quietly. "He'll do well. I'll take good care of him." It was too simple; he disapparated as well.

Lily cried out, "No! James!"

"He's gone, Lily," Jenny said, the words ominous, dangerous, and evil.

"NO!" she cried. "He can't be! What if he...?"

Catherine put her arms around the younger girl. "Shh, it's okay."

"Nothing will ever be okay again!" she cried. She eventually reached the couch, where she cried herself asleep.

"Oh, poor Lily," Jenny said. "If only James could've..."

"Could've what?" growled Sirius. "It's Lily that needs to tell him that she loves him. Then, they could work it out and live happily ever after."

"Lily can't! She can't stand any more rejection-can't you understand that, Sirius? She can't lose any more people close to her! If she loses James...she'll lose her mind."

"I don't blame her," Sirius murmured. "I'd lose my mind if I lost you."

Jenny's frustration simmered down, and she smiled up at her boyfriend. She kissed him sweetly and murmured, "I love you, too. Goodnight, dear."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen:

It was a long, long, long day. Lily wasn't hungry, although her stomach growled and complained at her annoyingly all day.

"I want James," she said, her eyes unable to cry any longer, and her heart feeling like it was torn to pieces, her head aching like someone was pounding on it. "What if something happens to him?"

"You're letting him out of your sight for a day and you panic?" Catherine teased lightly.

"No one understands," she murmured softly. "I wish I could tell him how I feel."

"Why don't you?"

She sighed. "Because he doesn't love me anymore."

There was a loud crack. Catherine and Harold both jumped up, holding up their wands.

Standing there, in the dark, 24 hours after he had disappeared for a dangerous mission, was James Potter. Lily had never thought him to be so amazing then she did in this moment. He stood there, his hair a mess, his eyes searching the room, his wand in one hand.

"James Potter!" Lily shouted. "Don't you ever do that again!" She smiled at him, relieved and excited.

She was shocked when he didn't smile back.

"James?" Catherine asked cautiously, holding her wand up.

Harold asked, "Son?"

"Hey, mate, you're kind of creeping us out," Sirius said helpfully.

James rose up, walking forward a little. Lily took a step back next to Sirius. She took out her wand, instinctively. "Heh, James, you can be a little more-"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Protego!"

"Stupefy!"

James shot the first curse, Harold the second, causing Harold and Catherine to lose their wands, but Sirius, Jenny, and Lily to be protected. Catherine cast the third, but James put up a shield just as quickly.

"Where is James, and what have you done with him?" growled Catherine, a fierce and protective look in her eyes.

"Wouldn't you love to know?" snarled the imposter.

"Give him back to me," Lily said. "Or I'll curse you so much that it will be felt by your ancestors."

The imposter grinned, an awful grin that Lily did not know James could posses. "You love him."

"Obviously." Lily was shocked by her own boldness, but she didn't care as she plowed through another sentence. "Give him back to me."

"Oh, you have lessons to learn, Miss Evans."

Lily choked a little. "Who are you?"

"A person much more experienced than a mudblood like yourself." Another awful grin. "Crucio!"

Lily had never known a strong shield like Harold's to be broken through, but the Unforgivable curse shot through the shield and hit Lily at her waist. She screamed, bending over and whimpering. Her head pounded and she couldn't hear a thing. Her joints flared and flamed with pain, her blood was boiling and her bones were on fire. She had never known pain so strong. It wasn't only physical pain; her mind itself started to close in, started to surrender. When it stopped, she had no idea how it stopped. She lied there, whimpering, her eyes staring unseeingly at the ceiling. She couldn't see anything and yet she saw everything.

That was when she heard his voice. "Lily? LILY?"

She blinked desperately, trying to see him, but she couldn't form words or her true hope that it was he.

~~~~_In the Forbidden Forest_~~~~~~

James wasn't sure what hit him, but it was stunning. He thrashed around for nearly an hour when Professor Dumbledore was able to get him up and cleaned him off.

"What happened, James?" asked Dumbledore.

"I don't know." He reached his hand up to mess up his hair arrogantly like he normally did when he was scared, but there was less hair. He frowned. "Professor..."

"Polyjuice potion...someone plans ahead." He frowned. "We must grab Minerva and get to your house instantly."

Minerva rushed to Dumbledore's side. "Yes?"

"Apparate. James's house."

James urged himself to get to his house. He apparated outside his house and rushed in quickly, swiftly followed by Dumbledore and Minerva.

"Crucio!" shouted a voice.

James was shocked to see himself, standing there with an unfamiliar wand, the Unforgivable curse pointed at...Lily.

"Expelliarmus!" James hollered. There was an explosion big enough to have the house come caving in on them, but once the dust cleared, everyone was in their same places, except the imposter lied on the ground, an awful hit to the back of his head. Slowly, the imposter started to change.

James rushed to Lily's side, holding her hand, feeling her forehead. "Lily? LILY? Can you hear me?"

"We should get her to St. Mungo's," Dumbledore said quietly. "Barty Crouch will be here soon to pick that up. Catherine, come with me?"

They flooed quickly to the hospital, and Lily was sent straight to a mental ward upstairs in a soft warm bed. James sat sadly on a different bed, watching the healers moving around, applying gentle incantations and giving smooth potions.

Finally, the leader stepped back, smiling. "I believe she's awake. Come here, you, let's see if she recognizes you."

James stepped forward cautiously, worry etched all over his handsome face.

Lily stared up at him, feeling herself start to smile. She didn't care how she got here, but to wake up seeing him was just about perfect. "James," she croaked.

"Lily!" James cried, a rush of emotion choking him. "I was so worried." He looked at the healer. "Can I take her home now?"

"There is no need for her to stay," replied the healer. "The healing for her problems is immediate. Of course, she'll be a little weak and tired over the next week, so she'll need some extra help. I gather you'll be able to handle that, Mr. Potter?"

James felt a huge grin spread from ear to ear. "No problem."

Jenny punched his shoulder lightly. "We're going to be around too."

"Let's go," Catherine said. "We'll floo back to the house. Tomorrow, you and Lily can go back to Lily's. Her mum must be worried sick."

"We should invite Lily's mum to our house!" James exclaimed as they walked towards the fire, his arm around Lily's waist.

Lily smiled at him sweetly, looking exhausted as she plowed carefully over to the fire.

"I was so worried about you," she whispered to him, tears starting to blur her vision. "I was so worried something would happen to you."

"Professor Dumbledore found me. He untangled me from the curse I was under and we rushed to my house. I thought I'd lost you when I saw your eyes-all dull like that. I was about to panic." He closed his eyes, almost as if he was trying to hide from the image in his mind.

Lily felt an urge to kiss his eyelids, so she talked quickly instead, "I...James, I..."

"Lily, come on," Catherine called, tossing some green powder in to the fire. "Go to the Potter house."

Lily reluctantly left James side, jumped in to the fire, and announced clearly, "Potter house."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen:

The next morning, Lily was shaken awake gently by her mother. She blinked up at Delia Evans, exhausted, remembering the days when she was young and her mum woke her up in similar ways.

"Morning, hun," Delia murmured.

Lily would've loved to think she had nothing to worry about and everything was muggle and normal. Instead, a new face, a very handsome face, appeared next to Delia's.

"Hey, you alright?" asked James.

Lily smiled up at him. "Yeah. What's up?"

"Catherine is making a special Christmas breakfast," Delia replied. "And then, we'll open Christmas presents. I brought over your gifts for your friends for you, dear."

"Thanks mum!" Lily gave her a quick hug, and James helped her out of bed. "Let's go eat."

Breakfast was incredible-Mrs. Potter could sure cook! It was a mouthwatering meal of eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy, and fried potatoes. Everyone was in their brightest spirits, their eyes shining.

Afterwards, they gave out gifts. Sirius got a new broom from Mr. and Mrs. Potter and a book of the best pranks ever committed from Lily, Jenny got a new strapless dress from Lily, James got an awesome Quidditch book from Lily and a new broom from Mrs. and Mr. Potter, Harold and Catherine got a muggle cook book from Delia, and Delia got a magical clock similar to the Weasleys. Lily got several gifts too; a dress from Jenny(kind of ironic), a set of potion books from Sirius, a cook book from Catherine, jewelry from Delia, and, to her surprise and dismay, nothing from James.

"Well," Lily said, when the last present was given. "Is that all?"

Everyone looked at each other, and each nodded.

"Merry Christmas!" cheered Catherine. "I'm going to go make dinner. You guys can go play outside now!"

"Let's play Quidditch!" shouted James, Sirius immediately agreeing.

Lily folded her arms crossly. Feeling like she was acting like a little kid, she stood up, pushing piles of wrapping paper away from her.

"We need captains," James said, avoiding looking at Lily. "I'll be one!"

"Me too!" announced Sirius. "I get Jenny!"

James glared a little and laughed. "I'll get Dad!"

"Aw, not fair!" whined Sirius. "I want Dad! And Jenny!"

"Sorry, Padfoot," taunted James.

"Lilyflower, are you going to play?" asked Sirius. "You can be on my team!"

Lily shook her head.

"Lils doesn't fly on brooms, Sirius," Jenny said in a warning voice. She knew Lily almost as well as she knew herself. "She can just watch."

"Please play, Lily, we have an extra broom!" Sirius pleaded.

Jenny studied her best friend's expression worriedly. She was concerned of the depth of distance and almost misery on Lily's face. "Lily-"

"No, I'm not playing," Lily said calmly as possible.

Sirius said, "Please? Please, please, please?"

"No, Sirius. No."

"PLEASE? Please? Please, please?"

"Sirius, no means no!" Lily said a little snappishly. "I'm not going to play."

"Are you going to watch?" James asked.

"No, I'm going to go ice skating," Lily replied, her voice losing its snap a little as she gathering her skates in to her arms. "I'll be on the pond over there."

"Lily, look-" James began. "It's okay to be scared. We can teach you how to fly, and then you can play."

"I'm not scared!" Lily snapped. "I'm going ice skating!" She stormed out of the house.

Catherine shook her head, smiling a little. "James, don't let her bother. She's probably upset that you didn't get her a Christmas present. Let it boil over. Then, she'll come straight to your arms."

"You don't know her, mum," muttered James, grabbing his new broom and following his family and friends outside.

"You have to understand her point," Catherine said. "You want to help me cook?"

"Sure!" Delia said, smiling a little as she put her hair back, rolled up her sleeves, and washed her hands.

Quidditch was fun. The only person who was completely out of it was James, who kept glancing at the pond to watch Lily ice skate. She was an incredible skater-twirling and dancing like a graceful swan.

"Watch it!" shouted Harold.

James instinctively ducked-just in time. The one bludger they were using swiped just where his head had been a half a second before.

When they finally ended, James had been hit by the bludger with every square inch of his body.

"James, what is with you?" Harold asked when Sirius and Jenny rushed inside together. "You're just distracted. What's up?"

"She-" James paused, glancing from her to his father. "I don't know, Dad. I think I...did something wrong."

"She's angry at you," stated Harold. "You didn't get her a gift."

"I did! I wanted to give it to her later! I'm not sure she'll accept it now."

"Then give it, James. You never know until you've tried."

He knew that Harold was right, but he was still dismayed. "I suppose I'll try."

"What'd you get her?"

James smiled a little. "My little secret, Dad."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen:

Lily slumped against the couch, her eyes droopy and exhausted as the adults filed upstairs. Sirius and Jenny left too.

"Lily, I have a Christmas present for you," James said. "Will you come with me?" He began to feel panicked, as if she wouldn't accept it.

"Um, okay," Lily said, standing up. She followed him outside, frowning slightly. Her eyes widened with fear when he pulled out his broom. "No. No. NO. I'm NOT flying."

"Please, Lily," pleaded James. "Just trust me."

"NO!" Lily almost started crying. "No, please no!"

"Please, Lils," James murmured. "I'll protect you."

Lily looked almost sick with fear, but she slowly climbed on behind James. She held on around his waist, and bit her tongue. She almost screamed when James flew straight up.

The ride was the longest of her life, feeling like every dip was a plummet to the death. James finally landed, smoothly, a little bit away from the house. It was a beautiful night; snowy, white, and dark.

Lily, shaking, stumbled off the broom. "W-was th-that n-n-necessary?"

James chose not to reply. He carefully grabbed her elbow and pulled her over to a bench next to a beautiful garden. Although the winter was hard on it, it flourished with gorgeous blue, red, purple and orange flowers and short stubby trees.

"Wow," Lily said, forgetting the ride. "It's beautiful."

"Lily, I want you to know that I really like you," James said after a short, peaceful pause. "I understand that I am a thick headed dolt and this is the worst possible timing, but I want you to be my girlfriend."

Lily got a faraway look in her eyes, the look she always got when she was remembering her father. She blinked, and looked at James. "You are a thick-headed dolt. It's about time, James Potter."

James stuttered. He really hadn't prepared himself for what would happen if she actually said yes. "U-uh, uh..."

She walked up to him and stood on her toes. "Kiss me, James."

James was only too happy to comply, leaning down a little to capture her lips. He put his arms around her and held her close.

When she could finally breathe again, she smiled a little, her eyes shining for the first time in what seemed like years. "I hope you will take me on terrifying broom rides more often."

James gained a huge grin, his hazel eyes shining with delight. "No problem, my beautiful Lily flower."

Lily smiled at the nickname. "You know, that used to really bother me, but now-" she kissed him lightly and murmured, "But now, life wouldn't be complete without it."

"Why did it take you so blasted long to decide that you loved me?" James murmured. "I'll let you know, though; it really was worth the wait."

Lily smiled. "James, I'm glad you waited. I'm glad you didn't move on. You are so incredible."

"Well, I knew the incredible part, so-"

She hit his arm lightly, laughing. "You will never change, will you, James?"

James shook his head quickly, making him look like a little argumentative child. "Never, Lily."

"You're incredible. Incredibly annoying and-"

"Hot, smart, amazing-"

"Yeah, all that too," Lily finished, grinning up at him. She shivered a little when a gust of wind blew through the perfect garden.

James reluctantly said, "We should be heading back."

Lily sighed. "Yeah."

She stiffened a little and got on the broom tensely. She held his hands tightly around the broom, anxious and scared. James murmured a soothing note to her, and then took off. Lily looked around. It was really beautiful. The night was not clear at all, the stars covered, but the moon was full and beautiful, hanging in the air like a glowing orb. Snow fell and billowed everywhere, fluffy and sweet.

"It's beautiful up here," Lily mumbled.

"Not half as beautiful as you," James replied.

Lily found herself smiling. "That's so cheesy, James."

"And very true," he answered as he landed smoothly in front of his house.

Still smiling, she took his hand and walked inside with him.

"Do you really think your mother should trust us in a room all by ourselves?" James whispered as they slowly crept up the stairs.

"James!" she exclaimed, unable to keep a straight face. "There's a reason she trusted us."

"I don't think she should trust me now," James growled against her ear playfully.

She giggled. "Me too."


End file.
